Pope Emeritus John Robert Wood III the Occasionally Penitent was born ten years prematurely, at the age of seven. By thirteen he had been in, out, shaken it all about and re-appeared as himself three times. He has been 24 years of age ever since he was 19, and now lives in Hollywood, where this sort of gratuitous mucking about with plot is tolerated.
He has six fingers on his left hand, which enable him to play guitar chords of extraordinary complexity, but only four on his right, obliging him to play them very slowly.
His hobbies include paper-scrunching, pencil-chewing and anxiously-out-of-window-gazing. For exercise he can sometimes be found in Starbucks, asking confusing questions of the baristas, such as “How far is the tea?” and “Just what do you mean by tall, exactly?”
A dedicated practitioner of Micawberism, he is currently working on his sense of entitlement, and an Advanced Sisyphean Disorder.